Thursday, July 29, 2010

Self-absorbed blog of the Month

Going to slightly venture off the boozy-track today and procrastinate with you guys a bit. Turn off now if you aren't bothered with tapping into one of my life's emotional quandary's. You have been warned.

Today i received a bit of a surprise email from someone who at one stage had meant a lot to me, broke my heart, then meant nothing to me. I've always held a candle for this particular person until she threw some cutting remarks my way, which in-turn, I threw some back at her. Friendship over. Like i mean, over. All remnants of that person had been deleted from my life. Facebook, phone numbers, email, all gone. It was quite a therapeutic thing to do i must say. To know I would no longer be able to hurt my self, someone else, or get hurt from her, again. She lives in a far far away place, as do I. We were going to live out our lives happy, free from each others bickering's, and get on with our careers. Until today. She's coming to New York.

So we have mutual friends, and i guess i always knew we would run into each other some where down the line, i just didn't think this soon. I'm pretty sure she doesn't read my blog. I remember shortly before the straw that had broke the camels back i had mentioned i was thinking of starting a blog. She slated the idea and we got into an argument. Hence, i don't think she ever found out the name of it after the denouncing of each other as Facebuddies.

I'm just not sure i want to see her to save myself the drama. Surely this shows an un-paramounted level of immaturity that i cannot embrace her olive branch and be friends with this person, that at one stage, was one of my best friends? I mean she is only trying to be nice right? Why can't i be nice back??

I feel like, after all the problems i've had with women in the last five years of my life, that i should mentally start from scratch with everyone. That's also what moving to a new city is all about. Embracing a different culture, it's inhabitants, and not getting caught up in things in the past. I need to let this kite fly and get on with new positive people that are going to help me move forward, not backwards. I guess that's what one side of my conscience is saying. On the other hand; I need to be civil about this whole thing, grow up, get a pair, and be a good human being. When she gets here i should be hospitable, yet reserved and first and foremost, a respectful adult.

I generally think i'm coping well with my twenties. I'm happy with where my life is taking me, my career is good, and my friends are amazing. I've made grown up decisions that I'm proud of, am a good person to good people. In general, I have a good 'head on my shoulders'. With this one I think i need some thinking time. I want to make the right decision. I'm going to leave the email for today. Not to act cool, but just because i generally don't know how to play these cards. There's no one who can figure this out apart from myself, and i'm not looking for advice.

If you have read this all, im sorry. This post is exactly what i didn't set out to do when i first started the blog. It's supposed to be fun, light-hearted with a intoxicated tinge. This post is self-absorbed, for lack of better words, 'emo'.

I'll figure this one out, until then it's my day off so i'm going to go for a swim, eat some oysters, and have a drink. Oh by the way, you might be thinking why there's a picture of a tiger being spooned by a pig above. I guess you could read into the irony of the moment and think i'm trying to suggest if they can get along, anyone can. You're wrong, i just think it's a sweet picture.

Have a great day kids..

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


I was bored the other day so I signed my two house mates, Liam and Missy, up for a swingers website, without them knowing it. Turns out it's really, really easy to meet couples in Brooklyn looking for fun, and a bit of 'other-half' swapping.

Here's how to do it! First I logged onto, them you need a photo. So I got the lovely couple together for a nice picture. Create your username (lookingforfun2305), and hey presto! You wait, and couples email you with naked pictures of themselves. The ones below are my personal favourites so far.

I guess Liam and Missy are going to know about this after reading this blog. Oh well.

Shit, I nearly forgot. I've got a Latin-American couple coming over in 45 minutes so I better get out of the house..

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Happy birthday Sashimi

"What flavours do you have?" was greeted with a lost look. "Just one, tropical flakes" was the reply from my new Chinese friend at the 'Aqua World', when I asked him what his fish-food range was. Yesterday I walked 43 blocks in 35 degree heat to do the only thing 'on my list' yesterday.

Tupperwear container (that doubles as fish tank) $1.49
'Tropical' flavoured fish food flakes $2.00
Plastic dinosaurs (for tank decoration) $1.29
One orange fish $3.00
TOTAL $7.78

At 6:29pm yesterday I declared it my new friend, Sashimi's birthday. I mean I know it's not his real birthday. I know he was born sometime before I paid a heavy handed, net-wheeling, oriental senior citizen to drag him out of his aqua-orphanage, but that doesn't matter. Yesterday I adopted my first new pet in a long time.

You see I have had a long run of bad experiences with pets in the past. As a kid my house would of had dogs, cats, birds, turtles, Mexican-walking fish, and regular fish at any one time. I don't really remember what happened to most of these animals, i just know it would sort of click that they were not around. I can remember one of the saddest days of my childhood was when I was about ten years-old..

My grandmother raised me as a child and used to get home from work at around 4:30 everyday. I used to finish school at 3:30 so until she got home, my neighbour, Pat used to baby-sit me. Everyday i would hear my Nan pull into the driveway and I would run out to greet her and get into the house so i could gorge myself with chocolate and crisps and watch the sweet cable TV we had. *Yeah, i was a fat kid* At the same time I had only one pet, Scratch. I was given Scratch on my 6th birthday. He was a vicious kitten, with a 'your not fucking touching me' attitude. *I think I always thought he was a quarter tiger or something*. Anyway, i could tame him. He became my best bud until the day I watched my Nan back up the car directly over my dear Scratch. Imagine how badly it hurt (and sounded), when I witnessed my dear Scratch getting pounded by the back wheel of a 1973 Valiant. Now imagine the pain of witnessing my Nan realise what she had done and put the car out of reverse and drive straight back over my bleeding and squealing best friend. All I can remember from this point was watching the defeated, twitches of my dear Scratch, whilst screaming "HE'S STILL ALIVE NAN, HE'S STILL ALIVE!!!", to her trying to calm me down explaining they were just his nerves giving out....
whoa...that's bringing back some memories. Anyway, we shovelled him in a K-Mart bag and threw him in the bin.

Nan got me another cat, along with two dogs, and the rest of Noah's ark to make up for her child abuse she had tainted me with, but it was never the same, and i never loved any one of those pets as much as I did for Scratch. Until now with my new fish, Sashimi.

I am an animal lover and one of the things I most look forward to when getting back to Australia is getting a kitten and puppy and raising them together like the film Milo & Otis. Until then I'm on my training wheels, and resigning myself to pets I don't have to walk. May this be the start of something beautiful.

Oh by the way, for Sashimi's birthday I drew him a Crayola underwater backdrop to make him think he's somewhere tropical and not in grimy Brooklyn. I think he loves it!!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

What do you know?

Diageo's world class contest is on again. I like this contest. For the uninformed, bartenders in 24 countries compete in a series of mini cocktail comps in their respective countries to be crowned as a representative in a global, gladiators-esque cocktail competition held in Greece. Last year a good friend of mine, Adi Ruiz from Melbourne's Black Pearl, was Australia's representative. Another friend of mine, Ryan Chetiyawardana formerly of Bramble fame -now at London's 69 Colebrooke Row- represented the United Kingdon. Both of these guys are amazing at what they do and deserved the right to represent their country. This year in the United Kingdon a guy by the name of Erik Lorincz - of Connaught Hotel-, and Adam Brewer -Sling lounge -won the right to represent the UK and Aus respectively.

Look, i'm not saying these guys don't deserve to be where they are in this week's finals. Don't take this post as me questioning their rights to be there. These guys are some of the best at what they do, and not to mention great guys in general! Here's my beef though; The qualifying contest in the UK was judged by a series of five industry 'experts'. I have no problem with two of the chosen judges. Simon Difford and Andy Pearson are both involved in extensively in the booze industry, they're well rehearsed in tasting cocktails, and evaluating how a great drink should be balanced. But what the hell were the rest of the judges doing there? John Torrode and Greg Wallace from Masterchef? Really?? Why, as the collective beverage industry, do we constantly need to compare ourselves to our culinary counterparts? Surely these guys have got as much right judging the balance of drink as I have of judging a cake contest. I mean you don't see sommeliers being asked to judge Masterchef do you? And for the other judge, Andy Morris from the online edition of GQ magazine being asked to decipher the subtle elements of an elegant, 23 year-old rum creation? P-LEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSE.

I'm sorry, can we just leave the booze to the booze-heads and the the food to the foodies? That is all.


Oh by the way, i'm glad to report actual industry big-cheeses such as the Regans, Winchesters, and Dorelli's are watching over the big decisions in the finals being held currently in Greece. Good luck to all the competitors, i'm jealous as hell i'm not there!!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Along with vintage coca-cola cans, 1993-1996 NBA basketball cards, and jokes about feminists I collect classic cocktail recipes. I guess it's my job to also. I don't do it out of chore. I do it because I want to see if my new favourite tipple has been lost in the pages of a 19th century bar manual. I also do it partly because I never want some smart-ass bartender coming into my venue and asking me for a drink I have never heard of - thus making me look like a fool.

There's a recurring theme with a lot of recipes from yesteryear, and that's a lot of them will use ingredients in equal parts. Now i'm not sure if this was done through laziness to make drinks simpler for consumers to make themselves, or the respective writers actually thought that these were the best specs. Now therein lies the problem; Most drinks taste terrible when their ingredients are split into equal measurements. Actually, maybe i'm being dramatic. Not terrible, but not the best.

I have searched far and wide to find drinks recipes that taste the 'ideal' way when their ingredients are proportioned in equal measurements. *Actually I have thought about it for the last hour to be honest..* Anyway, I have only found three! I'm going to leave the Vodka & Coke out on this list guys as i'm going to say two ingredients is NOT a cocktail. Plus my 50:50 ratio Vodka to Coke is open to debate. By all means let's start a debate about any new drinks you would like to add. Remember, try and keep personal preference out of this one. Just because you like a Blood & Sand a lil' heavier on the Scotch, the recipe does not need it. I guess 'need' is the operative word here. Does that drink recipe obviously need a tweak? Most do. Anyway here's my equal parts hall of fame..

'Blood & Sand'
3cl Orange Juice
3cl Rosso Vermouth
3cl Cherry Heering
3cl Scotch (dealer's choice)

3cl Rosso Vermouth
3cl Gin
3cl Campari

'Last Word'
3cl Gin
3cl Lime Juice
3cl Marascino Liq.
3cl Chartreuse


Friday, July 2, 2010


Drambuie is ok. I mean I would never order it, but at the same time I would never say no to one of offered to me. I guess i'm not like the average Australian male. Check out this video..


I have now been in the big apple for a total of 12 hours. Enough time to land, get a coffee the size of my head, eat a hot dog, drink 15 Miller High-Life's, pass out and sleep. I have also just had enough time to fall victim to the new craze sweeping American men, called 'Icing'.

I'm still not sure whether this is a fantastic guerrilla marketing campaign by Diageo, or a college stunt that's hit the big time but I love it! So here are the rules...

1. When a fellow man is confronted by another with a Smirnoff Ice, the receiver must take a knee and chug the beverage.

No if's, no but's. Doesn't matter what time of day or situation, a man will always be now judged on his ability to drink chilled - or in cruel circumstances, warm - citrus, vodka RTD's. That's it.

Last night I was iced for the first time by a N.Y friend named Dan. Thanks mate, genius..

Ice away, and drinktheshitoutofit..